


The Bed's Too Small

by thevolunteertomato



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Post-Season/Series 04, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 08:35:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17220539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thevolunteertomato/pseuds/thevolunteertomato
Summary: Eliot can't sleep





	The Bed's Too Small

**Author's Note:**

> Mostly speculation for post-season 4. Not canon-compliant, but also not not canon-compliant, but this was fun to write despite the angst.

"This bed is too damn small," Eliot sighed over the line. "My feet hang off it all night. And I can't turn over without practically falling off. It's barbaric, Q."

"Oh yeah?" He smiled.

"I can't sleep anymore. It's unbearable. Are you getting sleep at least?"

"El," he laughed. "I'm getting my master’s degree."

"Yeah, yeah." The call was quiet, static crackling as they paused. Four months had been a long time.

"Have you figured out your thesis yet?"

"Started writing last night," he shifted to get more comfortable on the couch. "Battle magic actually."

"Really?" Eliot giggled a bit. "We were both shitty at it."

"More on the application and theory of it. Kind of the opposite of minor mendings. How have you been? Talked to Margo recently? " Quentin felt Eliot shrink. Margo was a tough topic.

"It's been a while. Things are doing good though," he ignored the shake in his voice. "Apparently, her and Fen are genius. Magic is stable again, everyone's happy."

"That's good...you know, you were a good king El-"

"Q, stop."

This was another hard topic. He wasn't jealous of Margo- not in any way. She deserved to be king more than anyone. What he was jealous of, is that they were all doing something. Quentin went to get his masters, Julia was a goddess again granting miracles, Kady and Penny had worked out their issues and had _kids_ \- plural. Alice was simultaneously running the Library and Brakebills. And Eliot was lying in a bed that was far too small for him. He finally thought that'd he found something that worked. Fillory was supposed to be his life, but everything had promptly gone to shit. Then the ordeal with the quest and getting magic back, then making magic free. And the monster. He tries to stay positive or at least hopeful for Quentin’s sake but it was getting hard. Things seemed pretty bleak from his point of view. Everything he had ever had hope for turned into something terrible and worse than he'd ever feared.

"The beds too small, Q." He felt tears prickle in the corners of his eyes. "It's too god damn small and it's all I can think about."

"We can get a new bed, El. It's not a big deal," he knew it was more than the bed.

"No, we can't. You're not _listening_ to me! It's too small but..." he breathed in sharply. "But all it makes me think about how I have even less room to get comfortable when there's another person in it. It's even fucking smaller when...when there's someone in it with me."

Quentin had tears forming himself. He blinked them away as Eliot continued.

"I can't move at all when you're here, you know? And I have to pick a position for the whole night and sometimes it's not comfortable-at all but...I never sleep better because you're _here_ , Q."

He had to stop talking at that moment. He felt like his throat was closing up with how hard he tried not to cry. He cried almost every night anymore, even more when he would get a chance to talk with Quentin. The one night was so bad that he actually prayed to Julia. He heard Quentin on the other end of the phone sniffling. Great, he always made him cry.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry Q-"

"No, it’s not your fault. I'm coming to see you right now." He didn't hang up the phone but set it on speaker as he got up from the couch, rolling up his sleeves to set the portal up.

"No, I'm fine. I'll be _fine_ Quentin." He choked up again, hating how pathetic he was.

"I'm already on the way," the portal was glowing faintly. "It'll only be a few minutes."

"You don't need to come fix me every time I get upset!"

The call disconnected. _Perfect. Just fucking perfect_ , he thought. _I push away every single decent thing I have left and now..._ He couldn't finish the thought before breaking down into another crying fit. His breathing was ragged from his attempts to stop another bout of tears. He vaguely heard a door slam open and someone run up the stairs in his small apartment.

"Yes! Yes, I do," Quentin had clearly been running. "Yes I do Eliot, because I love you!" He looked up and wiped at his face. Quentin was breathing hard as he crossed the bedroom. "You have _never_ let me fall into my shit. Everything that you have gone through...how could I let you fall apart?"

He sat on the bed in front of Eliot, brushing his hair back. He pulled him into a tight hug. His heart was racing a bit from practically sprinting from where the portal dropped him off and from how intensely he felt. Eliot was his entire world.

"I'm not gonna let you fall apart like this," he held him by the back of his neck. This was usually Eliot's move but tonight, Quentin needed to be the anchor. He needed to be strong and hold him together. And be there when he needed to fall apart. He felt Eliot's shoulders shake as more tears came. He was mumbling apologies and every single terrible thing he believed about himself into Quentin's shoulder. He let him. He needed to let the overwhelming feeling of despair go, and he needed to have someone take it.

"I love you," he whispered as he kissed his temple. "I love you so much, El."

A moment passed as his breathing slowed back to normal and he heard a faint "I love you, too." He placed another kiss to his cheek, his temple, and his forehead before pressing his against it. They breathed in sync for a few moments longer before Eliot tipped his head to kiss him. It was a little bittersweet but he'd never be ungrateful. It had taken time to build back up to this. Even longer for Eliot to ask for or initiate one. He still felt so guilt ridden for the torture the monster had inflicted, but in these moments, all the hurt fell away. They were just two people in love again, feeling all of the affection and tenderness and safety you were supposed to feel with the person you loved.

**Author's Note:**

> So this happened. Thanks @syfy for that lovely trailer...
> 
> Also, I suck at tagging and writing summaries so thank you for reading :') Let me know if there's any glaring mistakes or grammar errors, I wrote this without my glasses on :')


End file.
